Friday, May 16, 2008
I hide myself within my flower,
That fading from your Vase,
You, unsuspecting, feel for me
--Almost a loneliness.
- I hide myself within my flower, Emily Dickinson
I have been feeling an inordinate amount of unnecessary 'emoness' this past few days, despite my well-meaning attempts to cheer my emo self up. (haha, have you ever heard of someone trying to self-prescribe happiness to themselves?!)
the days have been good, i can't complain..
work: scooping icecream with fun, wacky people. seeing happy families. ooh-aahhing over cute tots. :))
french: classmates = hilarious. teacher = really good!
bummin': seeing friends, sentosa (falling off the idiot-proof luge and getting scrapes and cuts :/), shopping, dinners, crazy conversations
but i still, still feel slightly empty and detached. heh, maybe i need anti-depressants Or probably less time to myself. that's what i told moonie, i need Activities so i will know what to do with myself. Anything.
I gave myself two tasks and I have completed the first one. Yet, there is still the second one. And I am tired. I want to stop. I no longer want to finish this task, yet I know I must. Yet, I don't want to know and I am Really Fine the way things are now. So what's wrong, can't I be lazy (and afraid and hide in my vase?) because I know that I need to. Gawd, what kind of reasoning is that?!
Anyway, to end on an optimistic note:
There are many things I wish for;
but there are many things that have already been given without even a wish.
And for simply that, I ought to be happy and thankful.
un moment à se rappeler
. a moment to remember.
