i've been trying to avoid this post.

i know it has ended a long time ago,

all the going-back was an attempt to retrieve what has already passed.

sometimes it feels as though it hasn't, but it has.

and i know that no matter how much we go back, promise to stay touch (will we really? three pink balloons don't just float away :/), sing our hearts out. it will be different.

perhaps the tears i shed for foa, weren't stupid, they were shed for this moment when reality really crashes down upon me.

i know i am not supposed to get all emo-y about this but, but it's all the tiny moments. perhaps not even ones spent during official choir time, but the ones spent with the choristers that get me missing what the seemingly insignificant significant. if you get what i mean.

a terribly rainy, freezing day when the girls sang my romance outside the new cpa amidst the rain, wind and all the elements of nature. that feeling of belonged-ness, of being separate yet joined together by music, just music.

the achy excitement before performing, the adrenaline rush and nerves, yet the calmness that overwhelms when we all just step out on stage to give our best -- rise to the occasion, as ac tradition goes.

that salutaris hostia that gave me renewed faith

painted handprints on the kbl's wall and marvelous monday

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